Every moment of our life we get a chance to make a choice on what we would trade our life for! So we want to make sure that we are choosing what makes us happy and something that lights us up!
Have you ever struggled in deciding on what your next step is? Felt lost and confused and did not know what you were doing? Yeah I have been there myself and it’s not a great feeling.
Well it might be because you are going against your personal core values.
See my friend, Values are the ideas we have about what is good and what is bad, how we think things should be and more specifically, what we deem important!
They are our compass to help us live a life that we find fulfilling. Values are our core beliefs that shape our reality, decisions, and how we operate daily.
But before we identify any values you need to know about the two states of being. The two states are the powerful state and the primal state.
The powerful state is about your happy feelings such as being relaxed, open, experiencing joy, motivation etc. In the powerful state we are more open to connecting with ourselves and have a more open mind to bring in all the ideas, opportunities, and to see more beauty!
This is where our flow happens. Do you ever have those days you are just rolling and cruising right along with a great attitude? Yep that means you were in your powerful state. More aware with ideas just flowing and your enjoying each and every moment and the time just flies by.
We definitely want to spend most of our time in this state! How you ask? Awareness! Awareness is the key that gives you the choice because once you are aware of your thoughts you have the choice to change them.
Davie Bayer talks about visualization and how to shift into a powerful mindset at any time and any situation in his interview on Impact Theory. Give Shift into a Powerful Mindset any time a listen to! You will be glad you did. Plus you will gain a better understanding of yourself.
The Primal state is where all our negative, no good feelings come from such as anxiety, depression, overwhelm, etc. In the primal state everything is closed off to where you can’t make the best decision or make a decision at all. You can’t see the possibilities that are all around you.
Ever have one of those days when you wake up and stub your toe and you let it upset you, then your whole day just turns into a big mess? That’s because we let it get to us instead of thanking the universe for our toe that we just stubbed. Be grateful that you have a toe to stub vs getting all upset and angered.
If we were focusing on awareness we would have known better than to let that negative emotion get the best of us!
So now that we know we need to start operating from the more powerful state, lets get into that state and start talking about our personal core values.
Exercise for our Powerful State
Just a quick exercise to get you into a relaxed powerful state
Let’s take 3 deep breaths in through our nose and out through our mouth like you are blowing out of a straw as John Assaraf would say. We are getting into a relaxed state of mind.
If you are interested in retraining your brain, I highly encourage you to check out John’s Brain-a-thon. It is free to watch this awesome all day event! So sign up for the Brain-a-thon and start becoming the person you were meant to be and living the life you dream of!
While I am doing this I also lightly tickle my arms because you can NOT be in both states at one time as Mark Waldman says! So when you tickle your arm that feels good which means you are relaxed and happy. (positive emotions=powerful state)
You can do this as many times as you need to throughout the day to get centered, relaxed, and focused! This also brings together both parts of your brain. (left and right)
What are Personal Core Values?
Have you ever just stopped and thought about why you do something? Like the job you’re in, or why you live where you live? This all comes from values in which you hold.
Your personal core values, like I stated above, is our compass for why we do what we do. Super simple equation- Beliefs that we have dictate our behavior which then leads us to what decisions we make and then into the actions we perform.
Our beliefs really impact who we are, what we do, and how we achieve goals. They run in the background of our mind and influence us on the daily.
Why are Personal Core Values so Important?
Having Personal Core Values allows you to operate from the powerful state of being which means making decisions from a higher vibration and seeing all the endless possibilities out there. It plays into your strengths, needs, and wants.
You have to keep your personal core values in mind when trying to achieve those goals and dreams you have to make sure they align with who you are and what you are all about.
Values are so important because it determines how you show up in life for yourself and others and guides you through everyday life!
Getting super clear on your personal core values is the key to making decisions and living the life that aligns with what you believe is important!
Values are super important because it lets you know what you stand for! Knowing your Core Values allows you to live an authentic life and be the REAL you
Tomi Llama has an excellent article and also has flash cards and worksheets that you can work through.
3 things that drive our beliefs/behaviors
- What you believe to be true about yourself and the world around you
- Your Habits- what you do day in and day out or not do is a decision too
- Results-Where you are now to where you want to be and how to get there
These three things need to be in alignment with one another or it will make achieving anything more difficult!
Discovering Your Core Values
Now you may think your core values are something you should know by now, but a lot of us never really sat down long enough to figure ours out.
We need to do some deep searching in ourselves and not take into account what our society is telling us. Those are a bunch of Brules that we need not pay attention to.
For example- go to college and get a degree, have a house with a white picket fence, get married and so on. Maybe that is what a few truly want, but not everyone wants to do those things.
What do you value?
Maybe you want to travel the world in an RV or be single and enjoy the life you built for yourself with some close friends.
This is going to take some time, but the effort is sooo worth it in the long run!
Getting Clear on Your Personal Core Values
Now let’s sit down and get clear on our own personal values that align with who we are shall we?
Starting with a Beginner Minds
First and foremost we need to empty our mind and start with a beginner’s mind. We have to unlearn to relearn!
We can’t go into something thinking, I know all this, because you may over look somethings that you did not know before and close off any ideas that may have shown up.
This will take you into your powerful state so that we are feeling all those happy amazing feelings and are more open to opportunities and possibilities. This allows your unconscious mind to start giving you the answers you are asking for instead of getting stuck in your conscious mind.
Start Asking Yourself Better Questions
Start asking yourself better questions. You need to have clear questions that are specific and to the point. We usually generalize our questions and goals which will lead to vague answers and we wonder why we aren’t getting anywhere.
Asking better questions helps you uncover challenges you are encountering and finds better solutions to solve those challenges. It also helps you figure out where you are wasting your time and identifies things that you need to do in order to achieve your goals.
Your questions will determine your answers so always be clear and precise.
I am definitely all about gratitude and journaling because your answers are always right there in your writings! Plus I enjoy going back to see where I was at in my life at that point and see the progress.
Need more gratitude and affirmations in your life? Oh I hear ya there!
Check out- The Power of Gratitude and Appreciation
3 different ways to uncover your values
- Thinking about your best most meaningful moments and experiences in life
Think about meaningful memories you have-what was happening? Who was there? How did you feel? Why was that such a great memory? Was it the people? How they made you feel? Etc
2. Now let’s think of the opposite. Think about a time when you were overwhelmed, angry, or frustrated.
What were you doing? Who was there? What were you feeling and what made you feel that way? What values were lacking in that moment?
3. Now think about you and your life. What values are a must in your life that you can’t live without?
Do you need adventure and creativity in your life to feel fulfilled? Do you need to learn something new everyday?
And it is NEVER TOO Late to start implementing behaviors and habits into our life- Resolution Ideas
MORE QUESTIONS to get clear on your Personal Values
What makes you happy?
What could you do each and every day?
Where does your inspiration come from? What inspires you each day?
Where does your motivation come from?
What do you feel passionate about that you can do every day?
What makes you take action?
When do you risk going outside your comfort zone?
What are you willing to risk outside your comfort zone?
What stops you from getting outside that comfort zone?
Who inspires you? Why?
What qualities do you admire in others?
What qualities do you need to have to be the person you want to become? See yourself as that person
Now when was the last time you felt happy, thrilled, excited and passionate? What were you doing? Do more of that!
If you had no obstacles or worries, what would make you truly happy? What is most important to you in your everyday life?
How is your awareness? Remember awareness equals choice. How could you be more aware?
Maybe a Mindfulness bell that goes off every 55 minutes so you can reflect on that last 55 minutes.
How productive were you? Where did you lose time? How were your thoughts? How many decisions did you make? Were they easier decisions or hard decisions? Easy equals aligned choices.
Reflecting and grouping personal core values together
Now that we have some answers to the questions it is now time to sit down and reflect on what we wrote. Here is where we will identify what is truly important to us.
First we are going to group them by theme. For instance, if you had creativity, expression, and authenticity these could all be grouped together with one big value that correlates to them.
Now sit and reflect on what each one means to you and start narrowing them down. You can group and theme them, but you want to narrow down your top 5-10 .
In a relaxed state start asking yourself what values do you truly resonate with? What values are essential to your life? What values represent your primary way of being? Which values support your inner self?
Yes this will take some time but the time spent on this will be well worth it!
Ranking them-Top Personal Core Values
Once you have your 5-10 core values we are going to rank them in order of importance to YOU. Nobody else but you! Once ranked get creative and see where they fit into your life. Did you adopt one that society put into your head or is it truly what you believe for yourself?
I tend to reflect back every day just to see how they fit into my life and what choices I am making because of them. And of course if I still resonate with them. I am always redefining, exploring, and adding some because we are changing each and every single day.
Making sure your values are right for you
Ok, so when I talked about Brules did you click on that link to see what those were?
If not I encourage you to take a look at Vishen Lakhiani Video on False Beliefs: Brules. He explains how decades of social conditioning and Brules are keeping us from our full potential.
So now is the time to make sure your values are true for you and who you are. It’s so easy to get caught up in society’s values or family values that may not be true for you!
If it’s been a week and you are just unfulfilled and not happy that means your values are wrong or something is not lining up with your values so we have to investigate.
We should be revisiting these on a daily basis and ensure our values are truly for us and nobody else.
Questions you could ask yourself-
How does this make you feel?
Are they consistent with who you are?
Are they personal to you?
Do you see any values that are not consistent with who you are?
Taking Action on your Personal Core Values
It is not enough to just list your values and do nothing with them! You need to start putting them into action and living your values out to increase the happiness and fulfillment in your life each and every day.
When you align your personal core values and behaviors, things tend to get easier and easier the more you practice. One step you could take is to make a list each and every day of your actions and see how they line with your core values.
For example, if you are a fitness instructor, then you are always working out, helping others that need guidance, and putting the proper food into your body. Then you are consistently taking the steps to better yourself in that area. Maybe food prepping for the next week, scheduling one on one sessions with clients etc.
It is now time to go take action!